Thanksgiving is kind of cheesy. It makes me feel like I'm *only* thankful this one day out of the year, which of course is not true. It's never been one of my favorite holidays. Yes it's included in the whole year-end holidays and so I go through the motions but I still say it's cheesy. Now there's the food which kind of takes some of the cheesy away but still....
Almost every year out of the last 17, Todd's mom cooked the Thanksgiving meal. She knew I was fairly inadequate in the kitchen and would often give me tasks like the relish tray or pop or setting the table. And somehow she did it without making me feel bad. Once she had me whip the potatoes up and when I pulled the beaters up too far and potatoes splashed everywhere she simply smiled and made a comment like, "Well, it is best if you hold the beaters down a little lower."
Last year Todd's mom was at her home up north battling cancer. She had just received her first dose of chemo and wasn't up to cooking the dinner or traveling. Todd had to work so we didn't do much of a Thanksgiving. Things were fraught and difficult but I wanted to try to do something. So with the help of facebook and some of my online buddies, I cooked up a turkey on my own. It turned out fine and all was well, but it was unremarkable. I was ready to move on to Christmas and whatever the future was about to bring. I knew big changes were coming.
The big changes came and went. Todd's mother passed away in April and I'm still pretty sad about that. For 17 years she was our helper. She stood by us through the most difficult of times a family can have. When William was diagnosed with lissencephaly, she moved down from up north to support us. And support us she did. Financially, emotionally, every way a mother can support her kids and grandkids. She was an amazing woman and I miss her all the time. I saved the last voice mail she left me and I play it often. But we have moved forward with our new life. She would be proud of us the way we've come together to take care of the kids and even through divorce and remarriage have remained friends, getting along even better than when we were married.
She had a rough life but she was always thankful. She taught me how to be thankful and this year I'm looking at Thanksgiving in a new light. I have a wonderfully supportive new husband who is also my best friend. He has come into a situation with a terminally ill child and embraced it. He's the hardest worker I've ever met and tries to be the best dad, step-dad, teacher, and person that he can be. I have an ex-husband who has been a truly mature adult through all the events of the last year and has risen to the occasion. I enjoy co-parenting with him because I know when the kids are with him they are well taken care of and I don't worry. He has a lady friend in his life who, like Ted, has embraced becoming a parent. She loves our kids like they were her own, and hopefully someday they will be her own as well as mine. I have supportive parents who, while not without their quirks, love me and support me and my family however they are able. I have some damn interesting step-kids who I have seriously come to love. They are some of the bravest people I've ever met. I have three kids who I do love more than anything even though parenting is harder than I thought it would be. I have a job that I absolutely adore. I have an apartment in the city that I love. I've effectively let go of the American dream that says we have to own a home. I love coming home to our place and calling maintenance if something goes wrong. I LOVE not mowing or shoveling! I'm thankful for a wonderful school district for my kids.
I could go on. There are a million things to be thankful for especially in light of everything going on in the world. I have friends who are battling significant challenges and my heart is with them. But this year, for the first time in a long time, I'm celebrating Thanksgiving in my heart, not just with the required turkey dinner.
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