10/8/2014
Did you ever think at 44 you'd be happily divorced, good friends with your ex, soul sisters with your ex's girlfriend (who is his high school sweetheart), marrying the love of your life, and raising your three kids together as a group two doors down from the ex?
Me neither.
I haven't blogged in a while. But with material this rich -- I mean, seriously, you cannot make this stuff up -- I feel as if it's my duty to take you all along with us on the ride.
Without weighing us all down with the dirty details of why my marriage to Todd broke down, let's just say we are much better off as friends and not lovers. Good friends, not spouses. Like brother and sister, not a romantic pair. My best guy friend; the one I'd drink a beer with and fist bump when Michigan State scores a touchdown. You understand.
Anyway, late last year our 16-year marriage came to an end. For so long we had been busy keeping our family together and taking care of our terminally ill son, we didn't have time or energy to devote to us. Then, when we had the time, it became evident that there shouldn't be an "us." Long story short, our divorce was final on my 44th birthday, September 30th, 2014. In the most amicable of all divorces EVER, Todd, his girlfriend Trisha, and my fiancé, Ted, (yes, you read that right, fiancé) all went to the divorce hearing together. Afterwards we did a little shopping and then went to lunch for my birthday. We never get very far from Todd because he lives two doors down. In the middle of what could have been a personal disaster, we have carved out a little life for all of us here two doors from each other.
It might seem strange. Trust me. We sometimes scratch our heads and wonder what just happened as well. But let me tell you what happened. Two people who loved each other very much, as friends, realized the didn't have a true marriage. We found that we were much better matches for other people. We have created a much better atmosphere and environment for our three kids. Our 8-year old daughter, Gabby, who was Wednesday Addams in another life and has a baseline of grumpy grouch, came up to me tonight, smiled, and said, "Mom, I'm happy." She should be happy. She now has four happy adults, two mom types and two dad types, taking care of her. She has more people to help feed her. More people to help her with homework. Four adults who know the value of acting like adults and making a good and happy life for their kids. The same can be said for Grant, 12. He was in the "clan van" (as Trisha calls it) with all four of us the other day. We were laughing and carrying on and he was just kind of quietly looking around at all of us and he smiled. He actually smiled. My brooding, quiet, shy 12-year old smiled. Of course he hopped out of the van as soon as he could when we dropped him off at school. You know, he didn't want to be in there with us longer than he had to... But he smiled.
Tonight I'm laid up with some pain from a root canal. Trisha came to get Gabby to take her to soccer and she also took Grant to a meeting at his school after soccer. I'm just sitting here thinking it's nice to have a step-wife, or whatever you'd like to call her. You can call it whatever you want but this is how I see it: three kids + four adults totally committed to raising the three kids together = a damn happy family.
But seriously. We've thought about pitching this to NBC. I mean seriously. Seinfeld has nothing on us.
Stick around for the ride. It should be crazy!
Crazy good.
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