This is long and please bear with me. Sometimes I blog more to work my thoughts out than for the reader.
In the early days of our relationship, before Todd and I bought our house in Jackson, we rented an apartment in Ann Arbor. I had been living in Ann Arbor for quite some time and loved it. It's a fantastic college town, complete with all the chaos and fun that goes along with the academic machine. It's bright and vibrant and upwardly mobile. To me, there's always been a feeling of forward momentum in Ann Arbor. Things are moving. The economy is flush. People come here from all over the world to learn. I love the sites and sounds of other cultures and languages. Ever since my mother moved us there when I was 12 I was in love with it.
But I was newly married and I wanted a house. Picket fence and all that...
However, our goal was always to try to sell the house and get back to Ann Arbor. Then the economy tanked. Long story short, in 2013 Todd and I both landed jobs at the University of Michigan. We finally had enough income to move back to Ann Arbor. The VA short sold our house which helped and we found a beautiful rental in one of the best neighborhoods in Ann Arbor. (For $650 more per month than our mortgage was I might add!)
The new house didn't have the mold problems our old house did and between that and putting Willy on hospice services, he thrived. Ann Arbor was a good move. We worked hard and got our family back to a healthier (in more ways than one) city. It was a good city to raise our kids in. It was what I wanted for them.
Then life happens. Todd and I got divorced and stayed in Ann Arbor in apartments next door to each other. We had a firm commitment to be a "clan" together and raise the kids as a family even though we divorced. It's hard work and we don't always agree but we did it and are doing it.
Willy was one of the main reasons we wanted to make sure we lived geographically close. Along with Willy came a lot of supplies. Transferring him back and forth was complicated. After he passed, Todd bought a house in Saline. We knew this 15 minute distance wouldn't hurt us and would be more possible since Willy was gone. (Yes, I hate writing that.)
Although I have no desire to own a house - I've owned two and neither turned out to be the wonderful thing society tells you it is - I was happy for Todd. He and Trish will have a good life there as will the kids. But this did leave Ted and I wondering what we should do. I certainly didn't want to stay in the apartments forever. There are some issues with apartment living that I wasn't comfortable with and even though I love our particular place, the complex itself is becoming less than desirable at almost $1400 a month. It's just not worth that anymore to live in Ann Arbor. Renting a house could be anywhere from $2000 on up. I just don't love Ann Arbor THAT much. To me, it's irresponsible spending.
I always said I didn't want to move back to Saline. I don't know if that's the teenager in me who couldn't wait to move OUT of Saline when I went to college the first time or what. I was adamant that we stayed in Ann Arbor.
Sometimes you just have to admit you're licked.
Ted and I found a beautiful, old, charming duplex right downtown Saline. I can see the house we lived in through the trees. It's comfortable. It's charming. I have friends there. Saline schools are just as good, if not better than Ann Arbor's. (They're both fantastic, there's no downside here.)
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| Henry Street, right downtown Saline, left side duplex |
I did not want to move the kids from their schools. They are both doing well and Ann Arbor schools have been a stable situation for them.
But when making big picture decisions you have to consider the whole. Living in Saline, three miles from Todd and Trish, in my hometown - or at least what I consider my hometown - with a beautiful rental that is much less than our Ann Arbor apartment, is the best decision for us.
We will be better able to continue on the path of raising the kids together, the four of us, making them feel confident, loved, and taken care of by four adults who love them very much. Divorce and remarriage is tricky when there are kids involved. Can it be done in a healthy way? Can you show that although you love their father, it was not a healthy marriage? But that we can be really good friends and commit to each other to get along and work things out and take care of them?
Yes. Absolutely. That is our commitment. This move to Saline is, in large part, because of the commitment that we made. I'm thankful for my little clan. I'm especially thankful for Trish who is a wonderful second mom. We are very different people and don't always agree but she takes care of the kids and I don't worry about them when they are there.
I always think I should have a take away when I write a blog post. I don't know what the take away here should be except that I needed to work out on paper the thoughts in my head about this move.
If no one except me gets anything out of this blog post then I've done okay.
I really just love my kids and want to make a good life for them. That's it.
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