Have a Coke and a Smile

It can't be easy being married to a grieving, pre-menopausal, emotional wife who also works full-time, is working on her MBA, and tends to worry about stuff in general. Lately, most days I feel like a hot mess. I know this has to do, at least to some extent, with the grief process. My insides feel all weird lately. And it manifests itself in bouts of crying, irreverent humor, and lots of eating. (Why is it that nothing, not even the death of my child, can take away my appetite?!?!)

But Ted manages to work an amazing amount of hours each week and still makes me laugh, takes care of things like finances and groceries, and, most of all, makes me feel loved and supported. We joke a lot, especially on social media, about our lives and the funny things that happen in our days.

My friends tease me that I'm spoiled. Yes, Ted spoils me. I spoil him too but in a different way. We both need different things. Our love languages are very different and for us, it works out very nicely.

In all seriousness, one of the things I love about Ted the most is that my thoughts matter to him. Things I think about and mull over and questions I have matter to him. It doesn't matter the topic. It's common for me to say something like, "I don't understand this," or "I feel weird right now." And his response is always something along the lines of, "Tell me. Let's talk about it." Another common Ted response is "What can I do?" And usually there's nothing to be done -- I just need to know he's there and hears me. Everyone needs to be seen and heard.

For the next few years we have financial obligations and bills to be paid off that require Ted working extra. He's happy that he is able (Read: has the energy) to go do what needs doing. Not once does he ever complain about being tired or having to work his third job of the day. He puts everything he can into all of his jobs, not just his "day" job. As a Coke Merchandiser (which is very different than his job as award winning Dr. Troxell, professor extraordinaire) he builds displays and refills shelves. Sometimes his displays are so perfect and pretty he will text me photos of them. He's proud of his work ethic no matter what job it is he's doing. THAT is sexy.

I've offered to put my MBA off and get a second job and he won't let me. He wants to see me succeed and be whatever it is that I want to be. (Cue Wind Beneath my Wings...) THAT is love.

I don't know what precipitated this blog post. Everyone knows I'm super grateful for him. It was just a weird morning. I am fairly nervous about this accounting project I have due tomorrow for school and then the cumulative final I have to take on Tuesday. Again he was all, "What can I do to help before I leave for work?" And the answer was cake. I need cake. Cake will help me get through this day. So off he went to buy cake supplies.

Neither of us are perfect. I'm not so naive as to try to pretend we've always done everything right and life is always a big, fat rose. I mean, he leaves the toilet seat up so there's that. And I have a list of faults too. (Since this is my blog I don't have to list them if I don't want to.) :-)

But sometimes I just have to shout out to my people. Today it's Ted's turn. 

Now, one more piece of cake and then back to homework. 

#allinadayswork